2002-09-30 - 6:11 p.m.

this day started off on the wrong foot because i woke up thinking my brother was dead, until i realized i had been dreaming. i made it to work at 8 a.m, always a victory, went to my morning classes, had a realization while sitting zoned out in East Asian Civ:
I don't want to be here anymore.

yes, i said it, there it is: i am worn out with warren wilson. but i will not leave, because I only have a year and three-fourths left, some of which is already paid for. and i don't know where i would go. maybe the best solution is to take a semester-long internship or abroad program. I thought about jumping on the ball to see what is available for me next semester, but then i remembered that next semester is the boy who cannot be named's last semester... i know, i know... you say you will never make major life decisions based on a guy (or girl) but it's easier said than done. i can think of few things in life that are easier to say and harder to do. what should i do? what are your thoughts, my trusted advisors? another thing is the nursery job. I told them I would be around for two more years. and the probability of delaying graduation.

the bottom line is, i want to leave but i am bound by love and duty... and i'm being overdramatic, as usual.

the only other thing i have to say is that i'm cramping, and no one really wants to know that anyway. and i have homework to do. joyjoyjoy

Faery drawing by Brian Froud. Border pattern by Infinite Fish. Designed by Dust.