2002-10-02 - 4:19 p.m. Mercury is in retrograde. Don't believe me? check any astrological calendar. Although I don't normally put stock in astrology, I blame this for the depression that seems to be spreading among everyone I know, myself included. You know how it is... everything is fine and your having fun and then, suddenly, the bottom falls out of your world and you spend nearly 48 hours fighting tears and losing the battle three times. Or does that just happen to me? I don't know. Today has not been bad though... work, class, class, lunch, break, class, work--you are HERE-- dinner, work, homework. I am tired as hell, wondering if I'll ever feel like myself again... wait a minute, what does myself feel like? I might be leaving the library after all... I get reflective at any ending, which makes me wonder if I made the right decision. I would work in the library happily if it wasn't for fucked up hours. I need time. The kid working the WPO didn't believe me when I told him that campus watch would be more conducive to getting over mono than the library. he can suck it. Future still a blank wall... aptitude tests are full of crap... need to go to the career resource center... wonder if they are any help at all. That rhymed. I could write a song! teehee So I guess this whole lack of future explains why marriage has been on my mind. it's a part of my future that I can see, feel, almost touch, and know that someone else wants it too, wants me to fill that role and wants to fill it for me. That is, of course, assuming that nothing changes between us. Changes is the wrong word-- we are always changing. You know what I mean. I wish...
  Faery drawing by Brian Froud. Border pattern by Infinite Fish. Designed by Dust. 
|